You can’t imagine it, Jessie J says. At that moment gearing up for her first album release in eight years, blissfully happy with her newish partner, and at long last the mom to a little one after struggling to conceive for ten years, feeling invincible. Suddenly in March she was told she had breast cancer.
The singer-songwriter, birth name Jess Cornish, is known for telling it as it is. The album, her latest release, was supposed to be an open book, dealing with every moment of pain she’d experienced since she last made an album (endometriosis, miscarriage, failed relationships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with characteristic openness. The first single, the song No Secrets, was dropped in the spring. But by then there remained a major undisclosed truth. Her diagnosis. Then next release, the upbeat Living My Best Life, was released in late spring and she was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly dealing with the disease. Subsequently she shared the news, and in the start of summer she received surgical treatment.
She gives me her best “Are you kidding?” look. “I release with a song called No Secrets. I’m conducting every press talk, and they inquire, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I respond, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” Cornish has just had to postpone shows because she’s awaiting reconstructive surgery.
Our interview takes place at a studio in the capital. She is sporting a beige fake-leather jacket, jeans with ornate white designs, beige footwear and large glasses. Picture motorcycle style meets 70s singer aesthetic. “It seems like I’m in the 70s and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” A biker reference, I say, recalling the film. “That’s what people called me at school!” She smiles. Jessie is quick, irreverent and filter-free. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is hoping to make her standup debut next year. “I enjoy humor. During performances I basically roast the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
Cornish was preparing for an performance at the awards show when she discovered a mass. “I quickly sought to get it checked, had an test, and they told me, ‘It looks like nothing; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I responded, ‘But I can feel it. My arm hurts and tingling in my hands whenever I rise.’ And they said, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the following my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The specialist told her if it was serious she’d contact on the start of the week. By then the singer had persuaded herself it was fine. The way she describes it, it was just bad timing to receive a diagnosis when she had a busy schedule.
“Just two weeks before from debuting the project after a long hiatus and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I join the call believing it’s all going to be good, and she informs me, ‘You might want to sit.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she reveals, ‘I regret to inform you but your test results have come back as malignant cells.’” What did you say? “I replied, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She viewed the procedure terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. You’re escorted. During crises you go on a gurney, but then I just strolled down with a medical attire and my bum hanging out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been lucky. Without chemo or radio, just the surgery. “It’s terrible, but yet Thank fuck I found it early. The surgery happened a few months back and my right breast now looks like a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” She smiles again. “At least the nipple remains.”
The follow-up procedure is both medical and cosmetic. Her chest, she notes, are now “different sizes. The size doesn’t match. So inconsiderate! I thought, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a rough time. So rude! Ironically I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be ideal. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is accustomed to medical issues. She thinks her perspective on the cancer has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in health crises. Frequently they align with career highs, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to remind her not to assume everything is fine. “Frankly, I feel fate says, ‘You having a good time? Sit down.’ Ever since I was a child, it has consistently accompanied achievements for me; a major or strange event has impacted my body.”
She reminisces to her 11-year-old self, already starting her career featuring in the stage in a musical (she was chosen at the age of 9). That’s when she was told about the medical problem Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as vertigo and heart flutters. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an IV drip, and going back into hospital at night.” She jumps ahead six years, and 17-year-old Jess has joined the trio Soul Deep while attending the Brit School. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a collision and my larynx moved up and I was unable to vocalize for a long period.”
Wow, I say, wait, I can’t keep up. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
